Aida Kaman Stephens
March 09, 2007, 11:57 AM
Etienne's birth story
In February 2006 when we realised that we were expecting our second baby, almost exactly two years to the day that we had discovered we were expecting our first, there was no debate or discussion; we simply rang Aida hoping that she would be considering taking on some clients after her own maternity leave.
One of the factors in our choice to use independent midwives first time round was that rather than waiting around in a hospital for ages and having to take time of work we would be able to have all our antenatal care at home - this was an even more important factor second time around as it gave our daughter Sapphire a chance to get to know Aida really well during the pregnancy (we were assuming that she would not remember Aida from her own birth!) and meant we never had to occupy her in waiting rooms or leave her out of the whole process.
Sapphire breastfed throughout the pregnancy and (at time of writing Feb ‘06) still does (this is called tandem feeding or nursing non-twin siblings) . For this, and so many other reasons, it was so wonderful to be in our own home straight after the birth - I am full of respect and admiration for the mothers who are honest with more mainstream care providers that they are nursing through pregnancy or tandem nursing. For me I knew I would probably just get angry with the lack of knowledge and record-high blood pressure read outs would result. From very early on we agreed that Sapphire will and can wean at her own pace and the fact we were having another baby need not interfere with her natural weaning. Aida was fully supportive of our tandem nursing and with Etienne weighing in at over 9lb it was clear he had not been deprived in anyway!
We did not have any scans this time. We knew the option was there if we needed it but at no point did we feel the need.
Etienne was another 43 week pregnancy (remind me of this next time Aida!) The final weeks were very difficult - I felt large (huge) and uncomfortable and desperate to meet the new baby. Very early on in the pregnancy I had a dream that I was having a dark haired little boy and as the weeks dragged on I felt that perhaps the baby was not coming because we were having a girl and the baby would not arrive until I had adapted to this idea - I couldn’t adapt to the idea and now I know I just carry my babies for a long time. I am so lucky that there are independent midwives out there who support mothers to do this. I cannot bear to think of the consequences for me otherwise.
On Sunday 5th November (over two weeks after the due date) Grandma announced that she was coming to stay and would not be leaving until the baby arrived. I had been very anxious that I would be alone with Sapphire when labour began and that Roger and Grandma would not arrive in time but obviously her presence worked magic and that very night (well 4:40am) the contractions started. Roger carried Sapphire into Grandma’s room where they managed to stay sleep for a few more hours - We had wanted very much to have Sapphire with us in the house - the thought of leaving her to go to hospital would have been just too much- apart from popping out briefly, Grandma looked after her downstairs and apparently she didn’t seem to mind the noise that much. She was free to be with us but preferred not to. In true attachment parenting style Roger and I joked during that my labour was the longest time we had spent apart from her since her birth some two years previously
The first stage of labour was around 12 hours with a long “rest and be thankful phase” before the second stage. Etienne arrived in the world after only four pushes - a big shock for me and an even greater shock for him. He too was a compound presentation, just like his sister had been. He was Born at 17.25pm in our bedroom just a few metres from where his sister had been born two years earlier and I delivered the placenta naturally 35 minutes later. It was so wonderful to finally see him. The labour felt very different to the first time, maybe because Sapphire spent a long time in the birth canal and I used gas and air whereas this time I relied totally on back rubs - or maybe just because I had more of an idea what to expect (a slimy baby!)! Well Aida, Sapphire was born on the 9th November 2004 and Etienne on the 6th November 2006 perhaps you had better pencil in the 3rd November 2008!!
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